You Still Know My Coffee Order
by ASuperGleek
Summary: Set 10 years after (The Break Up) if Sam & Blaine hadn't become friends and (Thanksgiving, Xmas & I Do episodes) didn't happen. Kurt is now 29 years old, living in New York City an editor of Vogue. He hasn't spoken or thought of Blaine since they had broken up all them years so what happens when one day when they bump into each other? Can Kurt help Blaine to forgive himself?
1. Chapter 1

It's been 11 years since Kurt Hummel graduated from McKinley High. Now he was living in New York City working at Vogue as a fashion editor. He was pretty sure he had it all, a nice apartment in the city, a loving boyfriend, celebrity friends. Sure he hadn't gotten into NYADA but he had found his true calling in fashion. Maybe Broadway and performing were more of a pipe dream, a hobby. Did he miss singing and dancing? Of course he did but he was happy with the life he had made for himself and wouldn't exchange it for anything.

Kurt sat in his office that was looking over Central Park one afternoon. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and Kurt had just received a new Limited Edition Marc Jacobs bag. He had to go out and celebrate with a drink. He called for his PA to find she had left and if he wanted coffee he would have to get it himself. Kurt sighed to himself before deciding he might as well since the coffee they use at the office sucked.

He left the office building in which he worked in and entered the crowded streets of New York City. It was the late July in the middle of a heat wave so he tucked up his sleeves and unbuttoned some buttons on his shirt. He sighed as he walked through the streets.

Kurt went to turn the corner to go to the Starbucks around the block but something caught his eye, a little building just off the street. He eyed the sign to see it was a little coffee shop. He could hear music and laughing coming from the building and something inside of him changed. He wasn't going to go to Starbucks today, maybe he should try this place instead.

Kurt walked up the small walkway to the door, the music getting louder as he took steps forward. He opened the door and walked in. On the right was a stage and up on it was a woman with a violin. She must have been playing for a long time as the strings on it had started to break and she was slightly off key but there was something pleasant about it.

Kurt made his way up to the counter and ordered himself a drink before he found a seat at the back of the room.  
A small cubby man hushed the woman off the stage before he adjusted the microphone stand so he could reach.  
"Right guys, who's ready for the next act?" the man shouted like he was presenting some talent show on national television. The whole crowd cheered and a small smile appeared on his face.  
"Welcome the one, the only….Blaine Anderson" the man shouted as Kurt felt his jaw hit the ground. Kurt's heart stopped for a second. It's been 10 years since he last saw or even spoke to Blaine. After the breakup he wanted nothing more to do with him. He watched the guy who he now barley recognized walk up on stage. He was a bit taller and a lot skinner then Kurt remembered. Kurt wasn't sure if this was the Blaine he was thinking off. His once slicked back gelled hair was now back to its natural curl and had grown out to form a helmet of hair. He had tattoos up and down his arms, his left eyebrow pierced. Kurt had convinced himself it was just someone with the same name but then he opened his voice to speak and nope it was Blaine all right. His voice still sounding like it came from angel as he thanked the crowd for the welcome and he tuned his guitar. All the people are the tables were regulars and had started shouting suggestions on what songs he should do. Kurt didn't know what to do. He wanted to leave but at the same time watch him perform. It had been years since he last heard him sing. Kurt picked up his cup and started to get up when he saw the guy who had introduced Blaine on the stage sit on the opposite side of the table.  
"You ok there kid? You look like you've seen a ghost" he said joking. Kurt looked at him back.  
"I'm 29" he whispered back. As he sat back down on the seat. Blaine had started to play a song Kurt hadn't heard of as the guy went to speak to him again.  
"I'm Frank, I own this place" he said as he put his hand out for him to shake.  
"Kurt" Kurt replied as he shuck his hand.  
"You ok there Kurt?" Frank asked again with concern in his voice.  
"I…I…" Kurt started as he stared at Blaine.  
"That's Blaine Anderson. Isn't he amazing? I told him he should go professional but he doesn't want to"  
"How come?"  
"I don't know. I can tell he wants to and he has the talent but he tells me his happy here serving drinks and cleaning tables."  
"He works here?"  
"Yeah every day doing as many shifts as he can."  
"Why are you telling me this?" Kurt asked as he looked back at him.  
"I don't know. I just feel like I should or something. Anyways a few years back a guy from some record label came in here to borrow the phone and heard him singing and right there offered him a recording contract and the silly boy wouldn't take it"  
"How come?"  
"I think his punishing himself for something. Something his done in the past in which he can't get over to forgive himself. I've tried talking to him….l" the table moved as Kurt quickly got up. He throat had gone dry and he needed air. As he moved he knocked over the table sending the table flying making the music stop as everyone looked at him.  
"Kurt" Frank said after him. Kurt stopped and turned as the audience were watching him. Blaine was watching him. He felt his heart beating a million times a second. Had Blaine worked out who he was yet? Could he even talk to him?  
"Dude are you ok?" Blaine said into the microphone.  
"Yeah, yeah I'm good" Kurt replied as he sat on the chair closest to him.

Kurt felt all the eyes in the room stop paying attention to him and go back to staring at Blaine.  
"Now this is a new song guys. Umm it's about when you hurt the one you love" Blaine said as he started to slowly play his guitar. Kurt felt goosebumps appear on his body. This song was about them and what happened 10 years ago.  
"As I lay in the wrong arms all I can think about is you" Blaine sings his voice cracking. He carries on.  
"If I could take anything back from my life it would be that night" Kurt felt a rush of emotions.  
"Because seeing you hurt like that and knowing I'm the one to blame is killing me" Blaine said as he looked at Kurt, his eyes somehow begging for Kurt to look into them and to believe in every word he sung.  
"And now I stand here alone knowing I'm the one to blame." Blaine starts to cry, still looking at Kurt.  
"And one day I hope you will forgive me so I can learn to forgive myself." Kurt felt his own eyes start to water  
"Because every day I punish myself for one stupid mistake. It should have been you're arms I was in and now you're gone and I'm alone in this empty bed. Was it worth it? Was it worth it?" Blaine finishes his song as the crowd slowly begin to clap.

Kurt watches as Blaine jumps off the stage and hands his guitar to Frank. Kurt knows his walking towards him. What should he do?  
"Hey" the voice said as Kurt went to turn away.  
"Hi" Kurt replied as he looked down at his feet.  
"I'm Blaine, Blaine Anderson" he introduced himself. Maybe Blaine hadn't recognized Kurt at all?  
"Hi, I umm have to go, so sorry." Kurt said as he went to turn but was stopped as a hand grabbed his arm.  
"I guess you're not who I was thinking of, sorry." Blaine said as he let go and turned away. Kurt watched as he walked up to Frank grabbing back his guitar and leaving through a back door.

Kurt walked slowly back to his office visually shaken at this encounter he had with Blaine. Out of all the years he lived in the city he had never bumped into him. Why today? He watched young couples walk in the sun enjoying each other company as he thought back to his days with Blaine. He had blocked all the memories out his head, all the good times everything but now they were back. Kurt felt his phone start to ring. He looked at it to see it was his boyfriend Adam. He smiled slightly to himself as he answered the phone.  
"Hey" Kurt said  
"My flight got delayed and I won't be back until tomorrow or maybe even the day after." The voice at the other end spoke. Kurt sighed.  
"How was your family?" Kurt asked as he reached his building and walked into the lobby.  
"There good. I miss you Kurt." Adam said as he waited for Kurt's reply.  
"I miss you to"  
"Love you"  
"I….love you to" Kurt replied unsure of why he stalled. He loved Adam with all his heart so why did it hurt when he told him he loved him now?  
"Are you alright Kurt?" Adam asked.  
"Yeah I'm fine. Just sad you're not here with me" Kurt replied as he got in the lift.

Kurt spent the rest of the day in a daze. He brought up his old Facebook page on his computer. Something else had now replaced Facebook as the leading social network and Kurt hasn't logged in for a while. He brought up his profile to see his last log in was almost 8 years ago. Kurt sighed as he looked back at all his status which were complaining of early morning classes or Rachel hogging the shower in their apartment. He found his photo albums and started to go through each one. Some many pictures he had forgotten he had taken. He quickly made a folder on his desktop as he saved all the pictures he wanted.

Two albums caught his eye. One was titled 'Blaine and Kurt 3' the other 'Me and Adam'. There were over 300 pictures in the Blaine one but only 50 in the Adam album. He pulled up the Blaine album and started looking at the pictures. He saw that the album was set to private and that only he could see them. He started to look through each photo, each one bringing back a certain memory. He smiled as each one popped back. Suddenly his computer made a popping sound making him jump and he saw that a 1 symbol was at the bottom of the screen. He looked at it to see that Blaine was online and that he had just sent him a message. Kurt quickly closed the website down and sat there in silence. He closed his eyes and let the sunshine from outside dance on his face. His mind racing ever since he saw Blaine.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt decided to try and think nothing more of his encounter with Blaine. About a week later he was in his office back at his apartment writing an article on some new designer when Adam came in bringing with him some hot chocolate.  
"Hey babes" Adam said as he crept in, shutting the door behind him.  
"Hey" Kurt replied as he removed his glasses and placed them down on his desk.  
"I've brought you some coco" Adam said as he put the steaming mug of hot chocolate onto the desk next to the glasses and sat on Kurt's lap.  
"Oh goody" Kurt replied.  
"Kurt, can I ask you something?" Adam asked as he turned his head to look at Kurt.  
"Sure"  
"Do you think we will ever get married I mean we've been discussing it for 3 years and the most planning we've ever done is...actually I don't think we've done any. You're not getting cold feet are you?" Adam asked with worry in his voice. Kurt took his hand and pulled it up to his mouth and gently kissed it.  
"I'm not getting cold feet. Weddings take time and well it needs to be just right." Kurt said as he kissed each finger with Adam laughing at the touch. Kurt felt a tiny bit guilty, he did have cold feet. Ever since Adam asked one winters night 3 years ago on a roof top in snowy Manhattan, Kurt was in shock and well he did love him and well it seemed like the next step the two of them should take as a couple but something inside of him was telling him no. He didn't know what it was so he decided to ignore it and now Adam asking him he had to lie because he didn't want to tell him the real reason, the reason he just found out himself in that very moment, he was still in love with Blaine. He hated himself for it. But the feelings he had all those years ago rushed back to him. Kurt spoke again.  
"You know what I don't fancy a big posh wedding anymore. I want it to be just us and our family. Maybe we could just go the registry office and get married."  
"But I thought?"  
"No your right 3 years is to long" Kurt said as he hugged Adam tightly. What had Kurt just done? Why did he just say all these things? He wasn't ready for a wedding? He wasn't sure he wanted to marry Adam.

Kurt walked to work a few days later. He walked pasted the coffee shop he was in just a few weeks ago and he decided to go in. Unsure why he just had a coffee before leaving but something was telling him to go there.

He walked up to the bar where Frank was serving.  
"Your back" Frank said as he greeted him with a hand shake.  
"Actually I'm here to see Blaine Anderson?" Kurt asked. God why was he doing this?  
"His not here hasn't been all week." Frank said with some sadness in his voice.  
"Oh, we'll do you know where I can find him, a home address maybe?" Kurt asked as he looked around.  
"Listen son I can't give out that kind of information"  
"So do you know when he'll be next in?" Kurt asked. Frank sighed as he lent over the counter.  
"Blaine has some issues and well something set him off last week and I don't want to cause him anymore grief" Frank sighed. There was something in his eyes that told Kurt he loved that boy like he was his own son.  
"I think that may have been me" Kurt said as he hung his head down in shame. Frank pointed to a table the other side of the room and went and joined Kurt the other side of the counter.  
"I guessed you would be" Frank said as he pulled out his seat and sat down. He sighed as he watched Kurt sit down.  
"Listen Kurt, whatever happened between you guys is none of my business but I don't want to see him hurt again."  
"Please I just need to speak to him" Kurt pledged.  
"Fine he lives two blocks from here. Don't tell him I told you." Frank said as he looked up praying. Kurt quickly noted down the address and thanked Frank once again.

After Frank had left him he decided to get a coffee to calm his nerves as he did he brought up the phone numbers of all his ex-glee club friends. He dialled the first one on the list which just so happened to be Artie's.  
"Kurt? Hi" the person on the other link spoke.  
"Hi Artie" Kurt replied, unsure of the last time they spoke.  
"Dude, how are you?" Artie laughed.  
"I'm good. This actually needs to be quick I've just got to ask you a few questions…."  
"Sure, about what?"  
"Blaine" Kurt said and suddenly the line went silent as Artie silently cursed.  
"Artie? I need to know what happened after him and I broke up" Kurt asked.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes please"  
"Fine. God we were so horrible to him after what he did to you. We hated him Kurt, hated him for hurting you and well we all kind of stopped talking. I mean he got a bit friendly with Sam but something in him changed. He wasn't that outgoing, cheerful, happy go lucky guy anymore he kind of went depressed. I feel so bad now, we could have helped him. He went back to Dalton and well when we meet them at regional's he wasn't there and when I asked him why they said he dropped out of school and nobody had heard from him since. There were rumours that he was now drinking and doing drugs or whatever but none of us knew if they were true." Artie sighed as he waited for Kurt's response. Kurt felt a gasp leave his mouth. He was shaking.  
"I have to go" Kurt said as he switched the phone off and threw it in his jacket pocket.

Kurt ran the two blocks to find an old building that was barley standing on its own. He looked up to see the scaffolding placed there just to keep the front from falling over. How could anybody live here? Kurt found the number for Blaine which was a door just below street level. He walked down the steps. He counted to five before he knocked on the door.

After a few minutes and no reply he tried again but this time he shouted.  
"Blaine? Are you in there? It's….it's Kurt" Kurt sighed as he heard a thud and some swearing behind the door.  
Kurt watches as the handle slowly turns in its socket. It felt like forever before the door opened to reveal the guy Kurt had seen a week ago only now his hair was more messy and the guy was half naked. He watched the other boys eyes light up.  
"K…Kurt?" Blaine stuttered.  
"Yes, Blaine" Kurt smiled. Suddenly the whole door banged opened and Blaine rushed to the side.  
"C….c….come in" Blaine said. Kurt did as he was told and blushed when he saw Blaine was actually only in his boxers. Kurt walked into a messy room, cans of empty red bull littered the place. The sofa was half broken and there was no TV. Kurt felt a chill run down his spin as he looked around.

Blaine spoke up again as he messed with his hair.  
"I was right it was you?" He said.  
"What happened Blaine?" Was Kurt's only reply as he found a pile of handwritten music on the coffee table. Blaine shrugged as he wondered off to the bedroom to put on some trousers. Kurt watched the other boy leave as he noticed that the tattoos that went up and down his arms speared up onto his lower back.

After 5 minutes Blaine walked back in carrying a little box.  
"10 years" Blaine choked as he sat down on the sofa next to Kurt.  
"Yeah it's been a long time" Kurt replied as he sat trying to read the music before giving and turning to look at Blaine but instead started looking at his tattoos.  
"I had my first one done not long after…." Blaine stopped as he turned his arm over to reveal his wrist. He looked at it for two seconds.  
"We'll you know." Blaine said as he pointed to a word. 'Courage' it read. Blaine sighed.  
"Fat lot of good that gave me" Blaine said as he opened the box he had in his hand. Kurt watched as he pulled out a little silver pocket watch and passed it to Kurt. Kurt looked at it for a second and turned it over to find an engraving on the back of it. 'To Kurt, may all your dreams come true. Love Blaine.' Kurt looked up to Blaine who was now messing with his hands.  
"I brought it for our anniversary but it never happened. I didn't have the heart to throw it away" Blaine said as he got up off the sofa. Kurt looked at it again. The polished silver still shinning bright in the poorly lit of the room. Kurt placed it on the table before getting up. God he was mad. What was he doing? He finally made it to Blaine whose eyes we're still pretty like the day they first met. Kurt grabbed Blaine by the waist and pulled him round to face him. Their faces only inches apart.  
"I forgive you" Kurt whispered. Blaine would have fallen to the floor if Kurt wasn't holding him up.  
"I forgive you." Kurt said again as he moved in closer.  
"You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that" Blaine cried as he lent his head on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt wrapped his arms around tightly never wanting to let go. Blaine's face rose back up. Kurt moved forward leaning his forehead against Blaine's, he sighed for a second before he let his lips kiss Blaine's. Kurt swore he could see fireworks around him as they deepened the kiss. Both crying slightly as they finally broke away. Their foreheads still touching as Kurt let Blaine mess with his hair.  
"I've missed you so much. I missed us." Kurt said as threw off his jacket then started to unbutton his shirt.  
"I…I…can't" Blaine said as he sighed and walked away from Kurt who gasped for air. Blaine looked at Kurt then at himself in the mirror.  
"I'm not the boy you remember look at me" he sighed as pulled at his own hair. Kurt walked up behind him throwing his arms around him and letting his head rest on his shoulders.  
"Yes you are. We just got a little older that's all." Kurt said as he kissed up and down Blaine's neck. Blaine moaned as he turned himself around and caught Kurt's lips with his own.

Kurt woke up. His arms wrapped around a naked Blaine in bed. His head was on his stomach rising up and down every time Blaine breathed in and out. Kurt sighed as he adjusted the blankets to cover their lower half's as he snuggled back into Blaine and let his mind wonder back into sleep.

He woke up again as he felt Blaine playing with his now messy hair.  
"Hey" Kurt said in the middle of a yarn. He adjusted himself to let Blaine move down next to him and lie on his side.  
"Hi" Blaine said as he smiled. His face had gone red as he was slightly embarrassed. Kurt pulled one of Blaine's arms closer and inspected the tattoos as Blaine watched. There were music notes and song lyrics but there was one that caught his eye. He looked at it closer 'failure' it read and it sent shivers down his spine. Blaine yanked back his arm as he tried to hide the word that Kurt had just read.  
"Why do you have failure on your arm?" Kurt asked. Blaine sighed as he let himself fall back onto his back.  
"Because I am, I failed you, I failed school, I failed everyone. I'm a big, massive failure." Blaine cried. Kurt jumped up his eyes tearful.  
"No, no you're not." Kurt said as he pulled Blaine's face to look at him. Kurt kissed him again.  
"Kurt. I never went out with anyone after you." Blaine said against his lips.  
"What?"  
"You were the only person I ever loved and after well I just never could. To think about dating someone else it made me feel sick so I swore to never ever again"  
"So you never?"  
"Not in the 10 years, no"

Kurt sat up after thinking of what Blaine had just been saying suddenly he could hear ringing. Crap his phone was out somewhere in Blaine's living room. He jumped up and ran out and grabbed it. Adam's face was the first thing to greet him when he picked it up.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt threw his phone back down on the table and turned back to the door to see Blaine standing there now only wearing some boxers.  
"Are you ok?" Blaine asked concerned as he entered the room slowly.  
"Yeah I'm good."  
"I'm sorry I'm a little rusty at all of this, it's been a long time." Blaine said as he hung his head in shame.  
"No god no, it's not you..."  
"It's me yeah I get it" Blaine sighed as he headed back into the bedroom. Kurt followed him back into the room grabbing his clothes as he went. Kurt watched as Blaine fell back onto his bed and closed his eyes, humming to himself. Kurt watched him for a few seconds before asking if he could use the shower.

After Kurt's got himself washed and dressed he walked back up to Blaine who still hadn't moved from his spot. After a few seconds he ran into the living room again grabbing his phone and bringing it back into the bedroom as he sat down at the edge of the bed. Blaine sighed as he opened his eyes again to watch Kurt texting away.  
"So..." Blaine said to catch Kurt's attention. Kurt flips his head around to look at Blaine.  
"Blaine I need to ask you something."  
"Fire away" Blaine said as he lifted up the top half of his body.  
"What happened after we well you know broke up?" Kurt asked as he turned himself around full and sat crossed legged on the bed. Blaine sighed as he moved in closer and crossed his own legs.  
"How much do you know?" Blaine asked as he messed with his hands.  
"I know you moved back to Dalton but you left not soon after so you didn't graduate."  
"That's true. I mean I loved McKinley but after what I did I just felt so alone. I could tell nobody wanted me there so I headed back to Dalton but even then I...well there was too many reminders of you Kurt. The staircase where we first meet, our practise room where I sung Teenage Dream to you, it was also where we had our first kiss Kurt." Blaine's face lit up as he spoke the last one as the memory replayed in his brain.  
"Blaine, there were rumours" Kurt asked as he grabbed Blaine's hand and letting his fingers lace between Blaine's.  
"What rumours?" Blaine asked.  
"There were rumours that you drunk and did drugs." Kurt said as he looked away for a second. Kurt felt Blaine squeeze his hand.  
"False. I guess people like to make up things when you leave, I don't know but believe me Kurt I've never done any of that." Kurt looked at Blaine his eyes begging him to believe and he knew he was right.  
"I just wanted to you check because if you had and that was because of well I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself."  
"No you have nothing to be sorry about you weren't the one who cheated it was" Blaine said before he was stopped by Kurt who shoved his phone into Blaine's hand. Blaine looked at the photo that was on the screen for a second.  
"Who's this?" Blaine asked as he eyed the phone and then back at Kurt.  
"His...my boyfriend well fiancé" Kurt sighed as he fell backwards on the bed to let himself stare at the ceiling. Blaine just sat there in shock before he put the phone down and got off the bed. He grabbed his tank top and headed for the front door. Kurt watched for a second scared of what he was going to do but all he heard was the front door banging behind Blaine.

Kurt laid there on the bed for a few hours. Blaine hadn't come back and Kurt was getting a little worried about him. He got off the bed and started to wander the apartment. He walked back into the living room, throwing away all the empty cans that had been left around the place.

Kurt jumped as he heard the door creak open. He watched as Blaine walk in holding two cups. Kurt quickly helped with the door as Blaine sat them down on the table.  
"I got us some coffee, you still have a grande non-fat mocha right?" Blaine said as he handed the coffee to Kurt as he saw his mouth drop in shock.  
"You still remember my coffee order?" Kurt replied. He smiled slightly trying not to laugh.  
"Of course I do."  
"Not even Adam can remember it and we've been together" Kurt stopped as he watched Blaine's happy face drop. He watched as he looked down at his feet moving them slightly.  
"I'm in a right mess aren't I?" Kurt said as he put his drink down and headed for the sofa. He sat down and put his head between his knees. Blaine sat down next to him and started to rub his back.  
"I should have turned you down today" Blaine sighed.  
"No, no I wanted to. Blaine the thing is I think that I'm still well...I don't know...Me and Adam we haven't in months and I'm sorry I shouldn't be telling you this you don't want to listen to my problems."  
"Do you love him?" Blaine asked as Kurt brought his head up now to look at Blaine. His eyes puffy, tears streaming down his face. Blaine watched as Kurt looked inside himself to find the answer. After a few moments Kurt nodded his answer, no. Blaine closed his eyes for a second taking in the news.  
"Are you still in love with me?" Blaine asked as Kurt nodded yes straight away. Kurt leaned in kissing Blaine but Blaine pulled away.  
"No" He said as he moved himself away from Kurt.  
"Please I need you" Kurt begged as he moved forward to Blaine again.  
"Listen Kurt you're doing what I did all them years ago. You need to tell him how you feel and what we've done and until then I can't be with you." Blaine said dying inside. These were the words he wanted to here but it just wasn't the right situation. It was taking all of Blaine's will not to give into Kurt again but he couldn't allow him to carry on and make the same mistake he made again.  
"But it will kill him. It could be our little secret you know." Kurt said as he wandered up to Blaine and started pulling at his shirt.  
"No" Blaine barked making Kurt jump.  
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have shouted but Kurt you have to tell him. I'm not going to be that bit on the side for those cold lonely nights. It's killing me right now that I can't be with you and I'm trying with all my best not to kiss you right now but I'm doing it because I know what it's like." Blaine sighed as Kurt nodded.  
"I'm sorry your right." Kurt said as he turned around and looked at his phone.  
"I promise that once you're ready and single or whatever I'm yours, always have been, always will." Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's forehead.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt left Blaine's apartment. It was already 9pm already. Not only was work going to kill him but also Adam. He had managed to send him a quick text to say he would be late but Adam always knew if there was something wrong and Kurt was sure he would have worked out what happened today.

Kurt cleared his throat as he entered through their front door. He closed his eyes looking for the will to tell Adam. Suddenly Kurt felt a pair of lips on his and as he opened his eyes he saw Adams. He sighed slightly as the lips left.  
"I've missed you so much today" Adam said as he grabbed Kurt's hand and dragged him into the living room.  
"Surprise" a bunch of voices shouted as Kurt found they weren't alone. He looked to see Carol and Burt were there sitting on the sofa.  
"Dad! Carol!" Kurt shouted as he ran over to them giving them each a hug.  
"Hi son" Burt replied.  
"What….what you guys doing here?" Kurt asked as he looked back at Adam.  
"We were just in the area and we decided to pop in" Carol said as she took a slip of her glass of wine.

Kurt laughed and joked along with his family before Adam pulled him away.  
"Kurt remember when spoke about getting married and you said that we should just do it." Adam said as he whispered in his ear.  
"Yeah"  
"Well I found there is a space free going on Sunday and its ours if we want it and since your family are staying in New York for the rest of the week and mine are coming on Saturday to visit we could do it then." Adam said with both excitement and anxiety in his voice. Kurt just stood there for a second before he nodded and replied  
"Sure" Kurt took another mouthful of his wine as him and Adam re-entered the room.  
"We're getting married on Sunday" Adam said as Burt and Carol screamed in excitement.

After everyone had gone to bed Kurt snuck off to his office. His parents were sleeping in the guest room tonight since there hotel was booked for the day after.

He sat there looking at an old framed photo of him and Kurt from prom night. For some reason he had always kept it. Hidden from Adam and himself but recently he found it back out. He looked at the two happy figures dancing hand in hand unaware of what the next few years would have in store for them. How they would be cruelly pulled apart by one silly mistake. Kurt had never wished more then to go back to that night in New York, in the park where Blaine had told him the news but this time instead of being upset he would tell him that he forgave him. But you can't rewrite the past but you have a chance to write your future.

There was a knock at the door and Kurt threw the photo in his draw and wiped his eyes before shouting come in. Kurt watched as he saw Burt who was still dressed in his day clothes enter the room.  
"Hey Dad" Kurt said as he watched him sit on the sofa that was at the other side of the room.  
"Can't sleep?" Burt asked. Kurt nodded as he walked over to his Dad and sat down next to him. He lent his head on his father's shoulder. Even through Kurt was now 29 there was something that made him turn back to a kid when was around his Dad like this.  
"Something's troubling you I can tell" Burt said as he looked at his son.  
"No I'm fine" Kurt replied.  
"No I know my son, now tell me what is it? Is it the wedding?" Burt moved a bit of hair from his sons face. Kurt sighed knowing that he couldn't hide it any longer. Kurt nodded yes.  
"Tell me what it is. I promise that what you tell me in this room will stay in this room" Burt said as he watched Kurt straighten himself up.  
"Is it that you don't want to get married or that you don't want to marry Adam?"  
Kurt sighed as he mouthed the word Adam.  
"I see. So why haven't you told him about how you feel?"  
"Because it would kill him" Kurt replied not wanting to tell him the real reason.  
"Really?" Burt said.  
"Fine….I think I'm still in love with Blaine" Kurt whispered as he hid his face under his hands. Suddenly Burt was laughing to himself.  
"At last"  
"What?"  
"You finally see sense and it only took you 10 years." Burt said as he grabbed his shoulders.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well there was always something more between you and Blaine and don't get me wrong I love Adam but I never really felt like he could be my son in law."  
"But I thought you liked Adam?"  
"I do and if he made you happy it would make me happy but it never felt like you guys really had a connection"  
"Dad I did something terrible" Kurt said as he looked at his father, his eyes tearing up.  
"What is it?"  
"I…..I well I kind of cheated on Adam."  
"You kind of cheated?" Burt replied.  
"I feel so bad butI"  
"Carry on"  
"A week back I was walking to get a coffee and I well found a little coffee shop anyway that doesn't matter but I bumped into Blaine for the first time in 10 years and well today I went to his place and we" Kurt stopped not wanting to go into the full details, not with his father.  
"I see" Burt replied.  
"I feel terrible that what I did to Adam was what Blaine did to me and I guess this somehow makes us even but I love him Dad. I love Blaine"  
Burt grabbed his son's hand.  
"What you did was wrong but you need to tell Adam and how you feel. If you go through with this wedding then things won't suddenly get better, they would get worse."  
"I know but how do I tell him. We've been together for so long."  
"I don't know son but you need to do it before Sunday"

For the rest of the week Burt's words echoed in his mind. He knew he was right, he knew the longer he left it the worse it would be. He put on his fake smiles and the fakes I love you for Adam but they didn't make him feel any better.

Kurt hadn't seen Blaine for the rest of the week because he knew if he did he would be in that bed again. At work his work was slightly off and everyone could tell something was wrong but nobody said anything.

Saturday came and Kurt's suit had arrived for the next day. After telling Adam he was going for a jog he headed to Blaine's place.

He made it to the front door knocking it. Blaine answered. Blaine had a smile on his face as he let Kurt walk in. The room was a lot brighter now and a lot cleaner.  
"Did you?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded yes. Blaine sighed as Kurt hugged him. Kurt started to kiss Blaine and as he did he picked him up and swung him around.  
"How did he take it?" Blaine asked as he pulled away. Kurt sighed. He was not only lying to Adam but Blaine now.  
"He took it well, now were we're we?" Kurt said as he kissed up and down his neck. Blaine had missed this.  
"So he wasn't angry at all? Blaine asked.  
"Shut up" Kurt replied as he kissed his lips again. Blaine moaned as he felt his top slowly start rising. He wasn't going to complain. If Kurt had said he had broken up with him then he should believe him.

Blaine woke up. He watched Kurt sleeping on his belly. He sighed for a second before he moved slightly, letting Kurt's head full slowly on the mattress below. He quickly grabbed some trousers from his wardrobe and pulled them on as he left the room. He looked around to find their clothes scattered around the living room. He laughed to himself as he heard a knock at the door.

He quick messed with his hair before answering the door. Outside was a man Blaine hadn't seen for years. Blaine knew who it was right away. He still wore his trademark cap.  
"Burt?" Blaine shouted as he saw the other guys face light up.  
"Blaine" Burt replied as they hugged each other.  
"Can I come in?" Burt asked as Blaine nodded. Burt walked into the place sighing slightly to himself.  
"Sorry about this place." Blaine said as he shut the door behind him.  
"I see Kurt's has paid a visit" Burt said as he picked up Kurt's shirt. Blaine felt his face go red as he grabbed all the clothes and threw them into the bedroom where Kurt was still sleeping. Burt sat himself down a he watched Blaine pull on a shirt.

The room stayed silent for a few seconds.  
"So you guys" Burt said as he tried not to sound embarrassed. Blaine bit his lip.  
"I…" Blaine said as he himself was embarrassed.  
"His getting married tomorrow" Burt blurted out. He wasn't meant to it was a thought running through his head.  
"I'm sorry want?" Blaine felt his knees get unsteady as he sat himself down.  
"His meant to be marrying Adam tomorrow but his here" Blaine felt his whole world collapse again.  
"But he told me he had broken things off with him….he…he" Blaine stuttered as he looked back at the bedroom door.  
"Oh Kurt what have you done?" Burt said as he went to hug him but Blaine dodged him as he walked towards the bedroom door crying.  
"You lied to me" Blaine screamed as he opened the door waking up Kurt. Kurt jumped up as he saw Blaine standing in the door way shaking with Burt just behind him. He quickly grabbed the sheets to cover himself up.  
"It's not like that Blaine" Kurt cried back.  
"You're getting married tomorrow…..Kurt. Why didn't you tell me? What am I to you? Do you even love me?" Blaine said as he turned away.  
"But"  
"I want you out of my house…..both of you now." Blaine said as he hurried to the corner of the living room wrapping himself into a tight ball.  
"Blaine?" Burt asked as he went up to him. He could see the boy was shaking. He didn't want to leave him on his own, not in this state.  
"Please leave" Blaine begged as Kurt pulled on his jacket and met his Dad in the living room.  
"Blaine?" Kurt asked.  
"GET OUT!" Blaine screamed as he looked at them. His eyes were puffy and red. Burt grabbed a hold of Kurt's shoulders and pushed him to the door.  
"No Dad" Kurt begged but he couldn't do anything, the damage had been done.

Kurt walked into the park with Burt who refused to talk to him.  
"Dad, please just say something" Kurt begged as they sat down on a bench.  
"You know this wasn't the answer" Burt finally replied.  
"I know but I just, I just needed him ok. I needed to be with him...How did you find out where he lived?" Kurt asked.  
"I found the address on your desk. I took it when you were telling me about you and Adam."  
"I've really messed up things haven't I?" Kurt replied as he watched some birds come into land. Burt sighed.  
"You need to tell Adam, now. I'll be there if you want but if you see yourself with Blaine you need to burn and then rebuild a few bridges."  
"I've messed things up with Blaine now to" Kurt cried. Burt nodded in agreement. Kurt pulled up his phone and brought up Adams number. He looked at it for a few seconds before dialling.  
"Hi Adam, have you set off for the airport already or?" Kurt listened to Adam before agreeing to meet at the apartment.

Burt walked with Kurt back to the apartment. He felt sick. Was he going to tell Adam that he cheated or that he wanted to call the wedding off? He walked into the apartment to see Adam in tears.  
"Adam?" Kurt asked as he rushed towards him.  
"Did you cheat on me?"


	5. Chapter 5

**_So I think I should put a warning before this chapter. It deals with attempted suicide (not in to much detail, just aftermath) and well it was a very hard chapter to write. I have put the Rating for this story up to 'M' for that reason. _**

* * *

Kurt felt sick. How did he know? Burt stood just behind him before creeping out of the room, it wasn't his place to be there.  
"You butt dialled me again. How many times have I told you to not keep your phone in your back pocket" Adam laughed as he pressed play on his phone and handed it to Kurt. Kurt felt sick as he heard the phone start to talk on the speaker.  
"1 message from Kurt Hummel at 10:42am…mmmm oh Blaine. God I missed you. Oh cold hands cold hands." Kurt watched Adams face as he heard the message again.  
"I can explain" Kurt said as he heard what sounded like a zipper in the recording.  
"Who's Blaine?" Adam said trying not to let his emotions get the better of him.  
"His just a friend"  
"And do you sleep with all your friends?" Adam said as he sat down on the sofa and placed his head in his hands.  
"I'm so sorry" Kurt cried as he saw Adam start to cry.  
"How….how could you?" Adam yelled as Kurt tried to take a step near him.  
"How long?" Adam shouted.  
"A day, two days" Kurt whispered just enough for Adam to hear, his voice trembling.  
"There's more to that message you know." Adam said as he watched the phone. Kurt switched it off and placed it on the table.  
"I could hear everything...every word...every..." Adam looked at Kurt. Kurt felt his stomach turn inside out.  
"I'm sorry" Kurt said again as he sat next to him.  
"You love him don't you? I mean the things you were saying you never called me them. Please just tell me the truth" Adam sighed as he looked to the corner of the room.  
"Yes"  
"And do you love me?" Adam looked back at Kurt. In his eyes he could tell he had lost him but something in there was still begging for Kurt to tell him that he loved him.  
"I…I used to" Kurt said as he saw the last bit of hope vanish from Adam's face.  
"I should have known this day would come we haven't been the same since I proposed. I mean when was the last time we had sex Kurt? Three months ago? Four? And we were too drunk to even remember it" Adam closed his eyes before saying.  
"I think I should leave."  
"But where are you going to go? Please stay" Kurt asked as he finally saw that Adams bags packed at the other side of the room.  
"I'm going to stay with a friend for now and besides this is your place I moved in with you." Adam got up and pulled on his jacket before picking up his bags.  
"Listen, Kurt. I do know who Blaine is, you speak about him in your sleep all the time and I've seen that photo you have hidden away. I guess that you guys were meant to be but we did have fun didn't we?"  
"Of course and we'll always have my first issue party" Kurt cried as Adam did to. Adam laughed at the memory of what they had gotten up to on that night.  
"I guess this is good bye"

Kurt had never felt so lonely in his bed that night, not since he first lost Blaine. He felt lucky that Adam had taken the breakup so well. Kurt turned over in his bed to look at the picture he had of him and Adam on his bed side table. After a few seconds he put the picture down.

The next morning arrived and Kurt hadn't slept all night and he was sure it showed. After getting up and showered he decided to head to Blaine's. After what happened yesterday he needed to check he was ok and to apologise for everything that had happened.

He walked up to Blaine's door to find it was left unlocked. He knocked at the door but there was no answer. He pushed at the handle and let it swing open before stepping in. The place was trashed. Beer cans littered the place, the sofa thrown upside down.  
"Blaine" Kurt called out as he walked into the bedroom. He saw a half naked Blaine lying on his back on the bed hugging a picture of him and Kurt. Just like the living room the place was in a mess and his guitar was in pieces.  
"Oh Blaine, what have you done?" Kurt said as he brushed the hair away from the side of Blaine's face. He looked at the side of Blaine's body and saw bruises covering him.  
"Blaine wake up" Kurt said as he softly rocked him.  
"Blaine baby" Kurt said again but nothing. Kurt checked to see if he was breathing and found he was so he tried to wake him again.  
"Blaine honey you need to wake up now" Kurt said as he rocked his body more. He felt himself begin to start shaking. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and rang 911.

Burt rushed through the door after getting a frantic call from his son.  
"Dad he won't wake up" Kurt sobbed as Burt tried to help wake him.  
"How long did they say for the ambulance to get here?"  
"A couple of minutes. God where are they?" Kurt cried as he kissed the top Blaine's head smelling the alcohol.  
"How many did he drink?" Burt asked.  
"I don't know but too much" Kurt cried as he heard a few moans from Blaine.  
"It's ok baby I'm here, I promise nothing bad is going to happen to you." Kurt said. Burt got up on the bed and started to push Blaine onto his side.  
"What are you?"  
"If his sick he needs to be on his side so he won't choke. Now Kurt did he take anything else?" Burt asked as he eyed everything in the room.  
"I…I don't know" Kurt replied as he held onto Blaine's shoulder to keep him on his side. Kurt hadn't thought of this and it scared him even more. He couldn't lose Blaine now. Not now he had just got him back. Burt jumped off the bed and ran into the bathroom.  
"Don't leave me baby, not again" Kurt cried. He could hear his father in the bathroom throwing items around looking for anything before he walked back out holding an empty cardboard box.  
"They need to hurry." Burt said as he put the box in his pocket.

Kurt sat with his father in the waiting room of the hospital. He had been given clothes from lost property after Blaine had vomited all over him just before the ambulance had arrived. But Kurt didn't care he just needed to see him, to check he was ok.

It was now night time and Kurt had fallen asleep in the waiting room. He had been told that Blaine was in a stable condition and that they were currently getting all the toxins out of his body and that they didn't know when Kurt would be able to see him.

The next morning arrived and the doctor woke both Kurt and Burt up. Kurt had hoped that last night had been just a horrible nightmare but the doctor confirmed it wasn't.  
"Can I see him?" Kurt asked.  
"You can" the Doctor said as Kurt and Burt followed him down the hallway to Blaine's room.

"His a very lucky guy, if you hadn't of found him in time and got him the help he needed well he wouldn't be here now." The doctor said as Kurt saw Blaine in the bed asleep and attached to a number of machines.  
"His lucky that the amount of alcohol and pills he took hasn't affected his liver or any other organ for that matter. He must have had an angel watching down on him" The doctor said as a relieved Kurt fell on the chair next to Blaine's bed. Kurt suddenly felt a letter pasted to him.  
"This was found on him. It's addressed to you."

Kurt held into Blaine's hand while he was sleeping. He hadn't opened the letter yet because he knew exactly what it was and he didn't want to confirm any of it. It sat on his knees waiting there. Every few minutes he would look at the envelope, it was calling to him. Finally he built up the courage to open it.

'To my darling Kurt,  
When your reading this I will be long gone, just a faded memory in everyone's brain.'

Kurt stopped reading. He couldn't see it down in writing. It was a sign that Blaine was giving up and it was because of him. He put the letter back in its envelope and on the bedside table. Kurt started to cry as he kissed Blaine's forehead trying to be careful to not knock out the tube going into his nose.

After a few hours he felt a tight squeeze on his hand. He could see that Blaine's eyelids had started to flutter like a butterfly's wings opening for the first time. He spoke a few words of encouragement. Blaine's eyes opened, blinking a few times to adjust to the bright lights of the hospital.  
"K….k…." Blaine choked.  
"Shh don't speak"  
"Am I…I in heaven?" Blaine stuttered.  
"Shh it's ok you're in hospital your safe." Kurt cried as he saw Blaine begin to cry.  
"I'm so sorry" Blaine cried as he brought his right hand up to hold his forehead.  
"I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you ever again" Kurt said as he kissed the hand he was holding.

20minutes pasted as the doctor quickly checked a now consensus Blaine. Blaine's eyes were still red and puffy.  
"I think I should leave you guys alone" Burt said as he nodded to them both and left the room.  
"You came back for me?" Blaine asked.  
"What did you think you were doing Blaine? You scared me, I thought I was going to lose you and I couldn't go through that again."  
"I'm sorry." Blaine cried. His body shaking as Kurt pulled him into a hug.  
"I know baby, I know" Kurt kissed his forehead again.  
"I just didn't know what to do and I wanted out..."  
"Please don't say that."Kurt cried.  
"But it's true Kurt. If I can't have you then" Blaine said as he felt Kurt lift up his face and looked him in the eyes.  
"No. You have so much to live for and I promise I will be there every step of the way. I also need to apologise, what I did to you it wasn't right. I used you Blaine." Kurt said as he wiped the tears away from Blaine's eyes. Blaine felt his heart race as he grabbed Kurt's hand and kissed it.  
"You probably have to get back to Adam right?" Blaine said with disappointment in his voice.  
"No...we are done. He kind of found out. Turns out I have a really bad problem of phoning people by accident and he kind of heard everything." Kurt laughed.  
"Everything?"  
"Everything."  
"Wow so umm how did he take it?" Blaine asked slightly embarrassed.  
"Surprisingly, ok...Blaine, can we start again? I mean like forget that whole thing happened and maybe before we jump back into each other's beds that maybe we should actually go out on a date first and learn about each other again." Kurt asked as he bit the his bottom lip.  
"I would like that."


End file.
